Author: Michael

Military spouse culture is an ecosystem all its own. The rules are unspoken, the hierarchies are informal (but very real), and if you’ve been around long enough, you know exactly where you land in the social order, whether you like it or not.
So, at the surface level, a spouse is a spouse, right? But anyone who has ever sat through an FRG meeting, tried to navigate the installation Facebook group, or attempted small talk at a mandatory fun event knows better.

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Introductory note from Ryan Shaw: Gen. (ret.) Chuck Jacoby, who capped a 37-year Army career as commander of the North American Aerospace Defense Command and U.S. Northern Command, passed away unexpectedly at his home in North Carolina on April 1. I had the privilege of helping him craft his retirement speech in 2014, and with the encouragement of several who attended, we adapted it for publication in War on the Rocks. It became one of the publication’s most read articles of that year. Today, with War on the Rocks, I’m honored to share the essay again, in memoriam.

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